Ignore this aside.
here is a 520-character word vomit. i am so annoyed right now. it’s very difficult. all i want is to sit down with someone i know and share my silence; i don’t want to say a single word. but the only people i see around are people i’d have to engage in small talk with and then i’d have to justify my presence after. life. i wish i knew more people and more people knew me, so that i won’t have to explain my silence or excuse it away. basically i have a lot of nonverbal ideas right now that i want to communicate with someone (possibly telepathically), but no, the lack of available designated friends fail me. my thoughts would have to remain in loneliness.