thesis work is going slower than usual
18 (and 17) apr
i was talking to some debate friends yesterday, and we were reminiscing about previous rounds and tournaments. my greatest frustration persists. someone shares an interesting story, i ask more about it……. then they inform me that i was, in fact, there. lol.
anyway i was feeling super unsocial earlier because i was tired of all the friendship moments happening, all the socialization in between and immediately after rounds, the fact that i had to cram the editing of photos for leaf area measurements. but i had a little personal moment of pride when i was approached (two separate but kind of consecutive moments) by j from ust and j from upd and i made small talk!!! willingly and sincerely. i think i can really handle socialization with acquaintances in small, controlled doses.
in other other news, i just realized that this pidc is my last national tournament as a debater ever. lol. i mean i want to start judging (in my whole college career people refuse to let me judge, mostly because i am unabashedly bad at it. or at least i was).
i miss my family. i miss my home. i miss i miss i miss.
alsooooo tinder is so fun to use??
19 (and 18) apr
break night yesterday confirmed my inability to enjoy loud parties (with some exceptions) and my tendency to be whelmed* by something**.
*whelmed = neither overwhelmed nor underwhelmed
**something = getting 6th break lol
but anyway. today and i suppose yesterday were tough days, mostly because i was and is so bobo. just stupid. in general. how am i even a debater lol.
i was also bawling my eyes out in public this morning; i had a bit of isolated family drama. before that i got to talk to v about our thesis and catch up on assignments and requirements.
funny moments: jeepney e-kot, rita’s, me (myself and i) etc
yesterday i went to a lunch with the st. scho girls (not all of them).
after we got to manila today we bugged m to treat us postdinner, which she did. then i did some leaf area editing.
life is so strange. ive updated my collection of words recently.
im sleepy and tired. quarters to finals tomorrow exclamation point
so many funny things happened to me, and by funny i mean hilariously inconvenient. i woke up 15 mins before the meet-up, i found out my ballet flats were dead, i couldn’t zip up the back of my dress by myself.
but yay made it in adb.
another random anecdote: when i got into adb, this guy from another insti talked to me while we were in line for id registration. lol. he brought up the fact that we had a mutual friend (philosophical bird j –there are too many j’s in the world), and the whole time i was thinking…… who is this guy talking to me hahaha i had to ask someone after.
i mean the guy was familiar, but we were definitely not yet in first-name acquaintance basis.
“we… are very proud.” hahaha history of random shitty replies right there
it must be recorded for posterity that e is very cool and also very honest. i am very proud of you?? what. strangely. and i am looking forward to hanging out with you. i’d add an emoticon here if i were allowed by the rules of word vomiting
i like the fact that venti mocha frappe costs only 152 in starbucks adb. drinking any form of high-sugar drink makes me so hyper. i socialized so much. relative to me. it was so weird lol.
thank you to c for lending me shoes, btw
i am eternally sad for the fact that we did not do our best in at least half the rounds of our run, that i could not understand what we were actually fighting for and so i could not outwardly show my conviction, that i failed insofar (…is this one word…) as helping propel my younger teammates towards their next championship
also guys pls the 0.67 points away from a speaker award just breaks my heart
i could probably improve if only i try
there’s still uadc before i go to med school and leave competitive debating for good
sigh support systems are the best i guess
congratulations to the people who won, and all the love in the world to the very first m in my life. you deserve your speaker awards; you definitely deserve more. you were so close. but there’s always next ndc to look to.
what else what else
after i finish writing this post, after i actually update it, i will have to accept that i need to get back to reality. a reality where our thesis is definitely still not writing itself
me right now:
that is all
NOTHING IS EVER OVER.
no really, as long as pts posts and new photos are still coming, my reactions will never stop.
i also belatedly realized that i never offered love to my teammates. to m and c, you make me feel so proud and happy and impossible.
that is really all.
or is it.