We crawl under our burdens for so long, with the things we carry in secret –but not. Raw, exposed, and undeniable, and denied. I will look back at this and remember that I survived.

casual pursuits: a lazy art+productivity post

Sometimes you’ve got no direction, nothing to send your love to. What comes out may be shit and disorderly, but at least it’s yours. x And then I lazily filled out a mandala from last year. I think I like this whole ink thing. Dec 2014 + Jun 2015. A photo posted by Jari Monteagudo…

some localized anarchy

Interrogate my body. Question the heart why its beat is five times more fast, its rhythm many times more irregular. Examine the way the skin flushes, the nervous tics of two slick hands. Demand answers from its lips, red-bitten and sore. And chase that errant voice — why is it gone when you are near?…

footnote

My fixation is part of a new era; the one before that, a transition. There is a list of words I’ve defined by you. I would look them up in the dictionary, and write their meanings down, and in my thoughts I would imagine your face beside each and every one. Words were senseless unless…

i sat on my chair and i wrote,

It’s 1AM. Here in Manila, after catching the last showing of Crazy, Beautiful You in the cinemas. It was a good film. Things that are also catching: exams, relationships, GHD and the future.

observations on the self, une.

i have the kind of earnestness that is manufactured and consumed an honesty that lies over the yellowing surface of gritted teeth (prescribed by doctors and thieves) here is a dress i wear to politics and heartbreak and this dress is the skin i wear everyday

i am a strong independent woman who will not hide from you or from anything except, you know the parts where i’m broken or the times when i cry those,  are just mine)